I Followed the Son: Part 1 - Rev. Larry Willige

NOTE: The following article is an exerpt from the new book Rev. Willige is currently writing titled, “I FOLLOWED THE SON”.

In 1976, Beverly filed for divorce and my life was in turmoil. As a result, my drinking became even worse than it was before.  Although we were living in the same house, Beverly and I were completely separated in spirit.  We had gone to several Baptist pastors for counseling, but with no successful progress.  In an effort to save our marriage, we agreed to come home early and spend quality time with each other. Unfortunately, our idea of quality time was drinking together; Beverly with her gin and me with my scotch.  Needless to say, that didn’t work.

In the fall of 1976, I went to play in a golf tournament for 3 days, but in the opening round, I hurt my back so I went home early.  Since Friday was the day that we prepared the golf course for weekend play, I went by the maintenance shed to check on things. When I walked in, a couple of the men were sitting around drinking beer. This was not uncommon since Friday was pay day.  In fact, I had joined them on several occasions. But this particular time was different.  Our 14 year old son was there drinking beer with them! When I saw him, I completely lost it and started cussing and yelling at him.  When I stopped to take a breath, he looked at the can of beer in his hand and then looked up at me. After doing this 3 times he said, “Dad, why is it you can do this but I can’t?” That was a sword that truly pierced my heart. 

For several days, I heard his words over and over again in my head.  It was tormenting to me personally. At the time, my thinking wasn’t very good anyway because of dealing with the possibility of divorce.  All I could think about was that I had destroyed Beverly’s and his life. Finally, after a number of days, I planned to commit suicide.

On Monday, November 15, 1976, I went to our house with the intention of carrying out my plan.  It was around 7 pm and no one was there (I made sure Beverly and the kids were not home).  There was only one light on in the whole house.  

As I made my way back to our master bedroom, still fairly dark, I reached up on the shelf and got the pistol out of its case.  As I turned to my left and toward the bed I placed the pistol on the end of the bed and went to the floor. With my eyes shut tightly and tears running down my face I cried, “O Lord, there has to be a better way.”  I immediately heard His strong voice say, “I’ve been waiting on you.”

I lay there for a period of time and then, it was as if a strong wind and a calming peace swept all over me.  As I reached for the bed to help me get up off the floor, I opened my eyes and it was brighter than the noon day sun in our bedroom.  I took the gun and put it back in the holster. As soon as I closed the closet door, the bright light dimmed and the room went back to darkness. This really puzzled me as I had no idea what happened in there.  (It was several months and even a couple of years before it became clear to me what had taken place.  That bright light was none other than the Glory of God – see Acts 9:3 and 26:130.) But I knew immediately something had changed in me! I slept so good that night, and no longer felt so uptight about everything.  The very next morning something else was dramatically different - I had no desire to drink my usual 6 pack of beer! To this very day, I have not had a drink of alcohol – HE TOTALLY DELIVERED ME THAT NIGHT! Praise the Lord!

When Saturday night came around, I had no idea what to do with myself.  I had never been home early and certainly not totally sober! I was never one to watch TV, unless there was a sporting event on, so I turned on the radio to a Christian station. I suppose I did that because as a young fellow, my daddy would arise early every morning and turn the radio on to gospel music. I actually learned to like most of it. In fact, shortly after Beverly and I were married, there were times when she had to work the all night shift on Saturday’s for the telephone company in Atlanta. I would drive her in to work, and instead of  driving another 20 miles back home, I would go to the all night Gospel singings at the old Ponce de Leon ball park. Anyway, when I turned on the Christian station, sure enough they were playing Christian Gospel music. I listened for over an hour! Then at 9 pm, a program came on that had preaching.  I started to turn it off, but for some reason I didn’t. The more I listened, the better it got. I listened every Saturday night for a couple of weeks and finally decided to go for a visit.

(More from “I FOLLOWED THE SON” in Summer 2010.)